Word Power: Shut up or just shoot me!

Proverbs 18:20-22

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

²⁰ Your words can be as satisfying as fruit, as pleasing as the food that fills your stomach.
²¹ The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings.

I was watching Dr. Phil today and he told a parent "It takes a thousand 'Atta boys' to erase one 'You're an idiot. You're worthless. You're no good." and for some reason this really struck a nerve with me.
I guess over the past few months I've paid really close attention to what I let people say to me and around me, especially those closest to me. It's bad enough to have to deal with the reality of losing a job, being suddenly uprooted from the place I called home for 9yrs, the rejection of not finding another job yet...It's amazing to me how people just say anything to me like it's right without having a positive counterpoint. I'm not saying people shouldn't ask out of concern and offering constructive criticism is always welcomed, but "Dang... you still looking for a job? What's wrong with you?" or questioning my interview wardrobe is not the way. And certainly reminding me that I'm single and childless and living with my parents shouldn't come up... like EVER! Don't come for me like that. So when someone wants to focus on the other obvious societal negatives instead of encouraging me, allow me to quote the great You Tube sensation, Sweet Brown: "Ain't nobody got time for dat!"

But enough about that... I think the real reason I was so intrigued when Dr. Phil said this was conviction. What kind of seeds have I been sowing with what I say? We often quote the scripture above in a selfish manner. We're quick to "Name and claim" something we want for ourselves, or "Speak healing and life" over our own sickness, but how often do we kill someones dreams because to us it looks and sounds crazy and impossible, or you have a mild headache and the next thing you know some Debbie Downer is telling some foolishness of how they new someone who had a small headache that turned out to be a brain tumor stroke before you can reach for an aspirin...SAY WHAT???
 I know I talk a lot and some would say I'm very opinionated, but here lately I've been paying very close attention to what I say about certain things. Both of my nieces and nephew seem to hang on to my every word when they're around me so I want to make sure what I say to them and around them is full of positive energy, and if I find myself talking otherwise I'm quick to attempt to explain what I said wasn't the best thing to say. But this doesn't apply to just impressionable young kids, or encouraging yourselves, but as adults we should be surrounding each other with nothing but good things and if something difficult needs to be discussed then try to find a way to season it with grace. Stop dogging out your man, start telling your lady she's beautiful, let your co-workers know they did a nice job, tell the cashier "thanks" if they were helpful... Like Mary Poppins said "Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down".
Our everyday relationships should be full of optimism. Being over critical and talking to people any kind of way isn't a good look for anyone. Continuing to say anything to one another without thinking about how it will effect the person's spirit is just as harmful as a physically violent act.
Let's build each other up... remember if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all.
I'mma do better for myself and for others.

A night cap... have you no shame?

I know it's been awhile since I've posted on my blog and honestly this wasn't the first topic I thought about writing on, but as I was sitting here preparing my evening lounge wear, a sadness came over me about a certain fashion fad that I've seen far too often to keep silent about any longer...
Since when did it become acceptable to wear nighttime wear as daytime attire???
I've noticed over the past year or so a growing amount of young ladies wearing pajama pants, shorts, and slippers while they were out and about. Initially this didn't really faze me because I worked at a predominately white all women's college several years ago and in the confines of this high security campus, pajamas and bedroom slippers were the norm. I, too, in my younger college days had been known to sneak to the grocery store or Walmart in the wee hours of the morning for snacks and the like in a nice pair of pj pants or sweats and a sleep shirt. Even as I noticed this trend growing, I noticed the design of sleepwear conforming to more of lounge wear which could possibly pass for workout gear or something to run out of the house and grab a dozen eggs in a pinch. Even when I'm sitting around the house chilling there is a 95% chance that I'm going to have on a matching outfit from head to toe. If I have on an NC State shirt, I have black, gray, or red/white pants, and NC State flip-flops or slippers. (ask any of my friends who have just come over to watch a movie, even my scarf matches if my hair is wrapped cause I like to coordinate).
And I'm not being overly old school because when I was a teenager we had our share of ridiculous looking fads. Wearing clothes backwards and/ or inside out really wasn't a bright idea, but it was a trend that worked and at least it was regular clothes and we wore our hats to the back...
Notice I said HATS!!! Not velcro wraps or night bonnets. This is really the crux of my crusade. Ladies hear me when I say this:
THERE IS NEVER A TIME WHEN I SHOULD SEE A SATIN BONNET/CAP OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOME!!! *
I can't take it. True story, we were in church on Sunday and the lady sitting in front of me had on a daggum satin cap on a Sunday morning. (yes, I have the picture to prove it) and I almost couldn't concentrate cause I kept thinking "WHAT THE HAM SANDWICH WERE YOU THINKING???"
Now don't get me wrong, no one is more of an advocate for bending the tradition of "dressing up" for church, but that's taking "come as you are" too far.
Yes, that was an extreme case of being out of order, but whenever I see someone donning their satin night cap it makes me question your hygienic practices before you left the house.  There is no way on God's green earth that you looked in the mirror with a black satin bonnet on your head and thought "Yep... did it on 'em!" And I have seen ladies fully dressed, labels and stillettos with a dang blame satin bonnet on. I don't care if you are Prada from neck to foot, when I see that cap, what I think when I see you is "Did you shower, brush your teeth, even wash your face or at least take a "hoe bath"???

Now granted I am a very girly girl who still gets fussed at by my mom and grandma's if I don't have on pantyhose in church or if my skirt hits my knee so I understand there are some fashion rules that are meant to be broken. I also realize people (both men and women) choose to express themselves through quirky fashion, but this must stop! You're setting both blacks and women back about 100yrs. I don't want to see you voting at the poles, on the front (or back) of a bus or retail establishment in a satin cap as a hat. If you're reading this and are guilty, free yourself today. If you have a sistah girl who is guilty, a true act of love would be to intervene. Get her a scarf, wig, lace prayer hat, turban...anything.
 I'd rather see an unkempt head than that d@#* satin cap!



*The only time this is even possibly acceptable is if you are ill and in an abulance or emergency room. But you'd better be real sick!