Thursday, May 24, 2012

Word Power: Shut up or just shoot me!

Proverbs 18:20-22

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
20 Your words can be as satisfying as fruit, as pleasing as the food that fills your stomach.
21 The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings.

I was watching Dr. Phil today and he told a parent "It takes a thousand 'Atta boys' to erase one 'You're an idiot. You're worthless. You're no good." and for some reason this really struck a nerve with me.
I guess over the past few months I've paid really close attention to what I let people say to me and around me, especially those closest to me. It's bad enough to have to deal with the reality of losing a job, being suddenly uprooted from the place I called home for 9yrs, the rejection of not finding another job yet...It's amazing to me how people just say anything to me like it's right without having a positive counterpoint. I'm not saying people shouldn't ask out of concern and offering constructive criticism is always welcomed, but "Dang... you still looking for a job? What's wrong with you?" or questioning my interview wardrobe is not the way. And certainly reminding me that I'm single and childless and living with my parents shouldn't come up... like EVER! Don't come for me like that. So when someone wants to focus on the other obvious societal negatives instead of encouraging me, allow me to quote the great You Tube sensation, Sweet Brown: "Ain't nobody got time for dat!"

But enough about that... I think the real reason I was so intrigued when Dr. Phil said this was conviction. What kind of seeds have I been sowing with what I say? We often quote the scripture above in a selfish manner. We're quick to "Name and claim" something we want for ourselves, or "Speak healing and life" over our own sickness, but how often do we kill someones dreams because to us it looks and sounds crazy and impossible, or you have a mild headache and the next thing you know some Debbie Downer is telling some foolishness of how they new someone who had a small headache that turned out to be a brain tumor stroke before you can reach for an aspirin...SAY WHAT???
 I know I talk a lot and some would say I'm very opinionated, but here lately I've been paying very close attention to what I say about certain things. Both of my nieces and nephew seem to hang on to my every word when they're around me so I want to make sure what I say to them and around them is full of positive energy, and if I find myself talking otherwise I'm quick to attempt to explain what I said wasn't the best thing to say. But this doesn't apply to just impressionable young kids, or encouraging yourselves, but as adults we should be surrounding each other with nothing but good things and if something difficult needs to be discussed then try to find a way to season it with grace. Stop dogging out your man, start telling your lady she's beautiful, let your co-workers know they did a nice job, tell the cashier "thanks" if they were helpful... Like Mary Poppins said "Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down".
Our everyday relationships should be full of optimism. Being over critical and talking to people any kind of way isn't a good look for anyone. Continuing to say anything to one another without thinking about how it will effect the person's spirit is just as harmful as a physically violent act.
Let's build each other up... remember if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all.
I'mma do better for myself and for others.

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