Job Fair or Sideshow?

After almost 10 months of being unemployed I've yet to hit the lottery or be discovered by a talent scout, so, like most out-of-work people in our country, I am actively looking for work. I scour the job sites, scroll through company web postings for openings and occasionally I hear of a job fair being held near by that I plan on attending. Most job fairs are well publicized so they draw people from all backgrounds looking for various types of employment which can prove to be interesting. The job fair I attended today was no different. It had been advertised in the local paper and was held in the mall atrium so of course it was open to the public.
Now don't get me wrong, I understand that there are people from all walks of life currently looking for employment thus the demographic of people attending these events can vary. I am by no means looking down on anyone but I will say this: You don't get a second chance at a first impression!
I know times and fashions have changed but when you're going to look for employment you should put a little effort into your appearance and behavior. This is not about being superficial, materialistic, or trendy, it's about being decent and in order. It's like when some people hear "fair" they automatically think "circus".
I have compiled a list of things that should never be seen at a job fair or interview*, but I yet I witnessed them today. (and trust me I'm not creative enough to make this stuff up)

1.  Tattoos are a touchy subject. Some work places are liberal in this area, but please don't show up seeking employment with a sleeveless blouse on if you're tatted from the elbow up to your neck.
2. A blouse and slacks is a nice business wear choice, but not when the blouse is one shouldered and certainly not when you're going to wear it with a regular bra thus the strap is showing on the bare shoulder.
3. And to add:  if you are wearing anything out of order that might show your bra (low back, halter,etc.) make sure the plastic security tag isn't showing on your bra. Note I didn't say price tag. Hard plastic security tag as in "Ma'am did you steal your bra???" (yep... I actually saw this!!!)
4. Guys, a dress shirt and slacks can be acceptable, but not a dress shirt with jeans and certainly not jeans with the namebrand (i.e. Rockawear, FUBU, etc.) and stitching in bright purple thread going down the front and back legs.
5. Lest it's for a religious purpose, a head scarf or bonnet is not an option!!!
6. Sexual preference is none of my business but I do know you can be androgynous and still be appropriate. A nice button up shirt and slacks works much better on a woman than a men's shiny 2 piece club outfit.
7. If you and your boo are both out of work, or your boo had to bring you to the job fair cause you didn't have a way there, hand holding, necking and other public displays of affection while greeting the recruiters isn't going to get you hired. The recruiter probably doesn't even want to shake your hand. Ewww!
8. Comb your hair. I'm not saying you have to be fresh out of a salon chair, but to look like you rolled out of bed after being chased by Freddy Krueger in your dream isn't a good look either.
9. Filling out an application on your homeboy's back... Really though??? Find a table or a clipboard for goodness sake.
10. Walking up to a booth and saying "Ayye, what y'all do?" #FAIL

I know it's hard out here for a pimp, but please don't make it easier for employers to pimp slap your resume or application straight into file 13 by looking or acting foolish.
Hey...maybe I should start a seminar or organization that stands outside of job fairs with a mirror and tells people to do better! If I can help somebody as a pass along the way...


*Note: This list isn't just for job fairs. Some of these things simply shouldn't happen no matter where you are going.

Reflections of a Shoe Shopaholic: Back to School!

This weekend I've been involved in the important preparation for my 14yr old niece's first day of high school. She went to her open house on Thursday to see her new school, Friday I took her to the beauty salon to get her hair done and yesterday I went to the mall with her and her dad to get polo shirts in various colors as part of the school dress code and shoes (which are apparently fair game as far as wardrobe goes). We even picked up some funky costume jewels to accessorize her uniform. All this hype about high school made me give some nostalgic commentary on my first day of high school which seemed to be nothing but high comedy to my niece.
Everyone who knows me knows I'm a fashionista and have high maintenance diva tendencies. My hair (real or weave) is always put together. I always have jewels on my neck, ears, fingers and wrist and like most women I LOVE shoes! But this wasn't always the case which is the testimony that took her into a fit of laughter.
We went into store after store looking for...gasp...SNEAKERS!!! Everywhere we went she was spouting off the number of an Air Jordan or Lebron or Griffey. If it wasn't gym shoes it was a hunt for something called a Sperry (which I couldn't tell the difference between the Sperry, or the Highland off brand, but I'm old so who cares). Seriously going to Foot Locker with her and her dad was like going to DSW for me and my sister. She can wear a kid's size sneaker so when we went to these stores she asked for her size they brought it out she tried it on, it fit and she had her pick of shoes everywhere we went. If they didn't have the color we tried another store. After what felt like the hundredth store she found this shoe she wanted in a color choice that we'd been hunting for. Now let me say my niece isn't spoiled but if the waters are stirred and she has her daddy at her beck and call hey why not ask the sales person if they have another shoe she'd been looking for...
And that's when I had some sort of flashback outburst that may need to be worked out in a therapy session. I look at her and ask "Haven't we tried on enough shoes today? I mean how many pairs of sneakers do you need? You could be going to the 9th grade wearing patent leather tie ups or orthopedic shoes!!!" And she laughed like I was joking, but I was apparently venting 22yrs later and was so serious.
 I know for a fact I looked a fool mess on my first day of high school, but you couldn't tell me back then. Actually a uniform would've been less shameless. My clothes were homemade but weren't too bad (my grandma could see then and was a great seamstress). I was rockin' the polka dots like Kwame in the 90's but my head and feet were a shameful mess. I had a jheri curl/fro/mullet going on, huge red eyeglasses a la Sally Jesse Raphael and thanks to the trendy one hit wonder Oaktown 357 I was able to wear ESPRIT patent leather tie-ups with satin ribbon laces. "YEAH,YEAH, YEAH! YEAH, YEAH, aww YEAH!" I wore those shoes until there were holes in the soles. They were the first pair of shoes I ever owned that I didn't have to wear with some sort of special insert for my extremely flat and awkward feet. Even in middle school gym class when every one else wore cute white Keds I had an off brand Reebok style high top with velcro around the ankle. Not because it was stylish, but because every other shoe slipped off my narrow heel. My other pairs of shoes were indeed slip on leather orthopedic cafeteria worker type shoes to help my weak arch. Fortunately my personality and big red glasses kept people's focus away from my shoes and I even got compliments on my custom made red and white polka dot pallazo pants.
I finally came into a better sense of style somewhere around winter and by the spring I had been set free from the jheri curl and realized shoes with a heel seemed to fit a little better. My mom bought me my first pair of pink pumps for Easter and there was no turning back.(Now y'all understand my love for a good heel is really a theraputic breakthrough!) I haven't bought a pair of orthopedic shoes since. Well at least not a pair that is recognizable as orthopedic. Easy Spirit as come a long way and I thank God!
Anywhoooo ...I was glad I was confident enough to know I was a nice person and my appearance didn't make or break me in high school. Most girls go through that awkward stage, whether it's braces, head gear, special shoes, bad perms, flat chest or acne, but true beauty shines from the inside out and will blossom into something very special if you stay true to yourself. My friends and classmates liked me for who I am, not what I wore. I still got my lesson (as grandma would say), was in honors classes and I will best be remembered from my high school classmates as a bubbly girl who kept everyone laughing (and I still hold my title of "Best Sense of Humor c/o 1994 dear to my heart). And what really matters is that you still don't look a mess at your 10yr reunion cause then there may be cause for an intervention and an extreme makeover.

TLC??? Honey Boo-Boo makes me wanna boo-hoo

I remember when I was in college back in the late 1990's my friends and I would rush home from class to watch A Baby Story and A Wedding Story every weekday afternoon. In the mornings the same station showed wonderful shows on fitness and nutrition; in the evenings they aired fascinating programs about nature, the human body and other scientific phenomena. The Learning Channel (TLC for short) made us feel a little better about watching TV when we probably should've been somewhere studying.
But if someone had told me 15yrs later this same channel (which still has the call letters TLC) would be home to such shows as Toddlers and Tiaras (inside the world of hotel ballroom kid pageants and pageant parents), My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding (the gypsy subculture has the most outrageous weddings and events. BLING!), Extreme Couponing (these people clear out grocery stores for like 10 dollars after multiplying then subtracting tons of coupons. And I will admit its kind of amazing) but tonight topped them all with the premiere of Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo!
Now I consider myself somewhat of an expert on pop-culture so when it comes to these reality shows I'm not ashamed to say I watch a lot of them if for no other reason but because it may come up on a big screen electronic trivia game at a bar one night and might help me get my wing basket on the house, but I digress... That being said, I was familiar with little miss Alana and Mama June from both Toddlers and Tiaras as well as Extreme Couponing, but nothing could've prepared me for the display I saw tonight. I've heard this 6yr old pageant contestant drawl her catch phrase "A dolla makes me holla Honey Boo-Boo!" and "You betta redneckognize!" (instead of recognize) on the previous shows and the commercials so I wasn't expecting Emmy award quality TV by any means. Based on the commercials with her sisters arguing "We are not rednecks" with her parents, I was hoping the show wouldn't fuel the ignorant southerner stereotype, but unfortunately that's not the case.
I literally sat with my mouth dropped open as I watched back-to-back episodes of this family from Georgia somewhere near Macon as they participated in the "Redneck Games" (which involved such events as bobbing for raw pig feet and belly flopping in the mud), the mom making a (possible) joking reference to scratching the "bugs" in her hair, farting contest as part of losing weight, a pet pig as a consolation prize to losing a beauty pageant for Honey Boo-Boo, and the entire family (including the 6yr old) accompanying the eldest daughter (age 17) to her OB/GYN ultrasound for her soon to arrive child. They even let Honey Boo-Boo put the ultrasound jelly on her sister's belly and... wait for it... HBB even put some jelly on her stomach and asked the med-tech could she see the chicken nuggets she'd eaten earlier that day. The med-tech happily obliged.
I had said earlier today Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo would culturally balance out the shame of shows like Love & Hip-Hop ATL and The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but after watching tonight there is a greater level of deep seeded concern for Little Miss Alana and the rest of the "Boo-Boo" family. LHHATL and RHOA are "reality" shows that are often scripted, twisted and edited to highten the drama and shenanigans. Sadly this is not the case on Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo. The southern accent and dialect is so thick they had subtitles for most of the cast commentary. You can't script or set up a redneck festival complete with a mudhole and Confederate flag decorations in the middle of nowhere. Allow me to paraphrase the gospel great Shirley Caesar "Naw...Honey Boo-Boo ain't playin' this time". NOPE these shenanigans are real and raw bringing shame to whatever school district is closest to the city of production. How in the world does a channel that used to stand for "The Learning Channel" feel like airing this is ok? Unless this is a terrible trick and a zenith comes at the end of  the season highlighting Honey Boo-Boo, her sisters, along with her parents being tutored and participating in honors ceremonies I guess I'll continue to watch with entertaining disbelief.
TLC the only thing I've learned from watching this show is a new meaning for "biscuit", but I'll be tuned in next week for sure!

To ATL and Back: A wrinkle in time

It's been about a month and a half since I posted anything because honestly I didn't really have anything lengthy to write about that would go with the theme of this blog. I mean my situation hasn't changed much and I've been in somewhat of a funk for the past few weeks or so.
I debated on whether or not to even blog concerning the thoughts that are in my head, but after reading a fellow blogger/cousin's transparent post I felt maybe this would help someone too. (Thanks LaWanda)
Over the last couple of days I've been reminiscing about when I first moved to Atlanta and how I ended up on such a journey. I moved to "Hotlanta" on August 3, 2002. Of course I didn't just get in my car one day and leave, but I do believe it was a spirit led desire and decision from the beginning. God told me where to apply for a job, a few months later I got that job, they told me to come the next week.(I didn't even have time to give myself a fabulous going away party). I got my hair done that Friday ( I wasn't going to start a new job looking a mess), filled my car with gas and that Saturday (with 18 dollars to my name) I left North Carolina with Georgia on my mind. I cried most of the way down I-85 because I was overcome with sadness and fear. But when I got to what I now know is Gwinnett County scanning for a radio station (not realizing how close I was) and the radio stopped on V-103. I'll never forget the first songs I heard as I approached Spaghetti Junction and could see downtown in the distance... Pastor Troy's "Are We Cuttin" and "Welcome to Atlanta (the remix)... and my eyes began to fill with tears, but this time of joy and relief because I had made it. I had no friends or family there; all I had was the faith that this is where God wanted me to be.

So here I sit 10 years later back in North Carolina reflecting over that time in my life and how much I've grown. I discovered so much about myself, about people and above all about who God is. I can't say I didn't make some mistakes but God has always been faithful. That's what I keep reminding myself. God has not changed! I'm not the same young naive lady I was at 25, and even though I'm a little older and wiser doesn't mean I don't still get scared and have my doubts. I may not ever move back to Atlanta and I don't know where God may lead me next but one thing's for certain but the same way God heard my prayers and ordered my steps then, He can and will do it again!

(Let me say this was very difficult to write, but very therapeutic. I'm pretty sure it didn't make you laugh much, but I hope it encouraged you to keep the faith! I'll be funny again in a few days.)