It's been about a month and a half since I posted anything because honestly I didn't really have anything lengthy to write about that would go with the theme of this blog. I mean my situation hasn't changed much and I've been in somewhat of a funk for the past few weeks or so.
I debated on whether or not to even blog concerning the thoughts that are in my head, but after reading a fellow blogger/cousin's transparent post I felt maybe this would help someone too. (Thanks LaWanda)
Over the last couple of days I've been reminiscing about when I first moved to Atlanta and how I ended up on such a journey. I moved to "Hotlanta" on August 3, 2002. Of course I didn't just get in my car one day and leave, but I do believe it was a spirit led desire and decision from the beginning. God told me where to apply for a job, a few months later I got that job, they told me to come the next week.(I didn't even have time to give myself a fabulous going away party). I got my hair done that Friday ( I wasn't going to start a new job looking a mess), filled my car with gas and that Saturday (with 18 dollars to my name) I left North Carolina with Georgia on my mind. I cried most of the way down I-85 because I was overcome with sadness and fear. But when I got to what I now know is Gwinnett County scanning for a radio station (not realizing how close I was) and the radio stopped on V-103. I'll never forget the first songs I heard as I approached Spaghetti Junction and could see downtown in the distance... Pastor Troy's "Are We Cuttin" and "Welcome to Atlanta (the remix)... and my eyes began to fill with tears, but this time of joy and relief because I had made it. I had no friends or family there; all I had was the faith that this is where God wanted me to be.
So here I sit 10 years later back in North Carolina reflecting over that time in my life and how much I've grown. I discovered so much about myself, about people and above all about who God is. I can't say I didn't make some mistakes but God has always been faithful. That's what I keep reminding myself. God has not changed! I'm not the same young naive lady I was at 25, and even though I'm a little older and wiser doesn't mean I don't still get scared and have my doubts. I may not ever move back to Atlanta and I don't know where God may lead me next but one thing's for certain but the same way God heard my prayers and ordered my steps then, He can and will do it again!
(Let me say this was very difficult to write, but very therapeutic. I'm pretty sure it didn't make you laugh much, but I hope it encouraged you to keep the faith! I'll be funny again in a few days.)