Before I start this let me preface it with 2 statements:
I love Jesus!
I love music!
Got it? Good.
Every since I was a little girl, I've always loved watching the GRAMMY awards show. I had the joy of being a kid in the 80's when MJ was moonwalking with Emmanuel Lewis and Brook Shieldds as his dates (wait...retroactive redflag waving), Cyndi was a girl who just wanted to have fun, Madonna was much closer to being a virgin than she is now, Van Halen and White Snake were wearing big hair and animal print leggings, Andre Crouch and the Clark Sisters were "crossover" gospel artist who got a few minutes on the stage and yes, I'm old enough to remember when DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince were the first rappers to win the coveted award. I even got to stay up past my usual bedtime because they stayed on until 11pm. (I never had to beg or bargain. I think my parents just knew it would be better to let me stay up because I would be devastated if I missed one moment of Michael Jackson or any of his kin folks on the screen)
So let's fast forward to last night. The year 2014. The Staples Center in Los Angeles... host venue of the star studded GRAMMYs. Just like back in the day it opened up with an amazing performance by one of today's hottest acts, the most influential MARRIED (note the emphasis on that word and put a pin in it) couples in music, Beyoncé and JAY-Z. A few awards were given out, tributes were given, more amazing performances were given. Jay-Z wins an award, thanks God (but still gets some backlash cause folks don't listen to full statements in context), more awards, Beatles tribute and then almost at the end the usual cliché performance with a generic choir in robes comes but only as a follow up to a surprise modge-podge mass wedding of 33 couples of different races and sexual orientation being officiated by Queen Latifah and serenaded by Madonna. It was, all in all, a typical 21st century GRAMMY awards show celebrating the recording arts and the people who enjoy recordings of all genres.
So, ummm, I got a question... Why you mad tho? Social media was all abuzz last night on my timelines about how risqué Mr & Mrs. Carter (yep, they're married) were on stage because it was 8pm and your kids were still up. (And I bet a lot of those same kids know all the words to Drunk In Love cause they certainly know all of Bey's other songs.) Beyoncé Knowles Carter was in a relationship with her now husband for many years and we've never seen her be overly sexual with him on stage (that I can recall, and I saw them live at an awards show. Yep, I was there!) prior to them getting married. She's even stated how she's been inspired artistically by her marriage and the love that created her beautiful child. It's none of my business what they did when they were going together, but she didn't show up on a red carpet with a baby bump as Jay-Z's fiancé or girlfriend, she was Mrs. Carter! And last night she could've pulled a Robin Thick and Miley Cyrus move, but she was all over her husband who lives with her and their child. She's been an entertainer more than half her life and they still got bills to pay. Sounds like the American dream to me. So if you heard the music and saw the smoke and a scantily clad woman, but didn't change the channel...ummm. Yeah, have a seat in that same chair she was dancing on!
Then my timeline was mad at the end of the show because of the same-sex marriages within the mass wedding ceremony. Ok, I get it. Everyone doesn't like gay people and doesn't think they should be married. That's your opinion, you're entitled to it. (Right or wrong, I haven't expressed mine either way cause that's not what this is about right now). It's the GRAMMYs. It celebrates music and people and how music brings ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE TOGETHER! It wasn't on TBN or the WORD network. Supporting ethics, morals, popular opinion, or salvation isn't the job of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Scientists. And if my memory serves me correct, when church people had their chance to shine at the GRAMMY primetime show, y'all got mad cause Dr. Mattie Moss Clark and The Clark Sisters tried to bring church into that auditorium full of "secular" artist. If folks had just let well enough alone and not been so deep all those years ago, Tye Tribbett would've had Taylor Swift shouting all over that place to "He Turned It" (and you know I'm right cause Taylor dances to everybody!!!) instead of the controversial nuptials. All we do is criticize and then get upset when it gets taken away. Have all the seats in Lakewood, please!
My issue is why are we always trying to find something to be mad about and last night just proved how oxymoronic (look closely at the root word) we are in our thoughts. I can think of a lot of celebrity couples who aren't setting an example like the Carters as far as moral code goes (I mean there's another non-married couple who will remain nameless but they're shacking up with their baby in the grandma's house. Y'all know y'all can rent something. Just saying.) and if you don't like what you see during the awards show artistically, morally, wardrobe choice, stage setting, lighting...whatever, then don't watch and don't support the music. But if you are going to watch from beginning to end, don't blame the Academy. They give out awards for quality music and recordings (even books on tape). Our job as good Christian folks is to spread the Gospel and love of Christ, be fruits of the spirit and such. Uhhh, yeah, when's the last time you did that instead of dissing a good celebrity married couple or a same-sex couple on stage or a hip-hop artist in a weird hat or musicians in robot costumes?
Now I'm not saying Christian folks shouldn't feel compelled when they see things out of sorts I'm saying make sure you're in an uproar over the right thing. So flip over your WWJD bracelet and get this engraved on the other side: WYMT (Why you mad, tho?)
I'm not that deep. I'm still saved. One day during my life's journey, I'm going to the GRAMMYs, gonna have a good time and still be on my way to heaven and certainly enjoying the trip!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
2014: You betta ask somebody!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!!!
Yikes... 2014 is here! It seems like it just came out of nowhere. One day it was February 2013 then all of a sudden it was December 2013. So much happened last year and it got me to thinking: A lot of what I went through might have been avoided or I would have been better prepared had I simply started asking questions. And not just me asking questions, but if people had asked me questions then I would've been honest and when I gave the answers maybe I would've realized the truths I was hiding from everyone else all for the sake of pride. This revelation came to me while having lunch with my good girlfriends on New Year's Eve and they were shocked by some of the things I was revealing. Granted there were some things I was just too shamed to tell them because ...well never mind, that's another story for another day. Just know there is truth in the saying "Why do fools fall in love?" But for the most part I'm very transparent with my friends and if you ask me something I will tell you what really went down. I told them they should have just asked.
Not only did my conversation with my girls get my wheels turning, but I thought about how my best friend (who's a guy) knows just about everything there is to know about me because he ask questions. Never pushy, he just has a way of casually getting information out of people. He can talk to a complete stranger in the grocery store line and get their personal version of "ROOTS" between the Pepsi cooler and the plastic bags. Meanwhile, I can go out with someone for lunch 3 times in the same week and not know their hometown. I'm exaggerating, but not by much. He's always getting on me for not asking questions or not getting enough details. (this has caused countless arguments and frustrating moments when we get asked to perform. I'm like "If we got mics, keyboard and amp, I'm good. He's all "How high are the ceilings and how many chairs cause that will determine the acoustics...yada yada") *shrugs*
Not only have my in-person conversations made me scratch my temples, but in this age of social media and texting and such, I've realized questions need to be asked for the sake of clarification. Tone and inflection isn't always interpreted via text, even when you use emojis (Watch out for that semi-colon winky smiley cause he/she is breaking up happy homes) Sarcasm and rhetorical questions don't always go over well via text. Inside jokes are taken out of context to people who aren't in the know. Facebook isn't the place for innocent nicknames that could also be used as a term of endearment or perhaps one person is posting something the other party isn't fully committed to. For example: You're tagged in a picture with someone of the opposite sex out on the town and the caption says "Me and my boo. I love me some him/her!" And folks are commenting "Awww...Y'all make a cute couple." (cause it seems like y'all are very coupled up) but then the tagged person status and inbox says "Oh no, I'm still VERY single". Someone needs to ask questions for the sake of clarity in this season coming off Christmas headed into Valentine's Day! (not saying it happened, just saying)
So to keep history from preventing itself I've proclaimed 2014: The YEAR OF DIRECT INQUIRY!!! I'm asking questions folks!!! It's up to the people I ask to be honest when I ask them, but I promise you I'm about to ask. I've even come up with a list of top 10 questions that I should've asked in the past but I think may work in 2014. (in no particular order)
1.Are you single AND available? Follow-up: You're not in a sketchy marriage, you don't live with your baby mama, I won't see you on Instagram kissing a woman at a party in a post from last Saturday???
2. Have you recently been arrested and for what? White collar, blue collar, misdemeanor, child support, sex offender, domestic violence, bad checks??? (Note: you can also ask this same question about loss of job)
3. Do you work a real job? As in you file taxes, you're not on mental disability, or stealing your parents/grandparents SSI.
4. (For employers) Have you ever had payroll checks bounce? Will I be shamed at the bank on payday? (Note: Question #2 might also need to be asked of a new boss or employer)
5. Before we go out, do you have money? Follow up: Do you have enough money for the date we're going on? Do you have more than 5 dollars in your pocket and/or bank account combined because I will not help you if you have to go to your car and get change out of the ashtray?
6. Do you have kids? If so how many? And how often do you see them? Is there anyone who could possibly be currently pregnant with your child?
7. Are you a Christian? Are you saved? Like for real saved or are you trying to make me one of the "Sister Wives" or part of a sex cult?
8. May I see a copy of your 3rd grade report card or school records? Follow up or in lieu of: Your 6th and 8th grade writing competency tests, CATs, SATs, ACTs and/or High School senior class project.
9.Tell me about your best friend? Follow up: Are you referring to an imaginary friend?
10. Are you crazy? (Note: if they adamantly say they are NOT crazy and get offended by this question, the answer is YES, they are crazy and trumps any of the other answers)
Now of course, always go with your instinct but this year my inquisitiveness will fuel my instinct. The Bible says the people will perish for a lack of knowledge and I'm not going down this year because I didn't ask!!! I'm asking folks and I'm asking the Lord for guidance cause another year like 2013... AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!
*starts singing The Winans *
Let's make it a good one y'all!
Nilly B!
Yikes... 2014 is here! It seems like it just came out of nowhere. One day it was February 2013 then all of a sudden it was December 2013. So much happened last year and it got me to thinking: A lot of what I went through might have been avoided or I would have been better prepared had I simply started asking questions. And not just me asking questions, but if people had asked me questions then I would've been honest and when I gave the answers maybe I would've realized the truths I was hiding from everyone else all for the sake of pride. This revelation came to me while having lunch with my good girlfriends on New Year's Eve and they were shocked by some of the things I was revealing. Granted there were some things I was just too shamed to tell them because ...well never mind, that's another story for another day. Just know there is truth in the saying "Why do fools fall in love?" But for the most part I'm very transparent with my friends and if you ask me something I will tell you what really went down. I told them they should have just asked.
Not only did my conversation with my girls get my wheels turning, but I thought about how my best friend (who's a guy) knows just about everything there is to know about me because he ask questions. Never pushy, he just has a way of casually getting information out of people. He can talk to a complete stranger in the grocery store line and get their personal version of "ROOTS" between the Pepsi cooler and the plastic bags. Meanwhile, I can go out with someone for lunch 3 times in the same week and not know their hometown. I'm exaggerating, but not by much. He's always getting on me for not asking questions or not getting enough details. (this has caused countless arguments and frustrating moments when we get asked to perform. I'm like "If we got mics, keyboard and amp, I'm good. He's all "How high are the ceilings and how many chairs cause that will determine the acoustics...yada yada") *shrugs*
Not only have my in-person conversations made me scratch my temples, but in this age of social media and texting and such, I've realized questions need to be asked for the sake of clarification. Tone and inflection isn't always interpreted via text, even when you use emojis (Watch out for that semi-colon winky smiley cause he/she is breaking up happy homes) Sarcasm and rhetorical questions don't always go over well via text. Inside jokes are taken out of context to people who aren't in the know. Facebook isn't the place for innocent nicknames that could also be used as a term of endearment or perhaps one person is posting something the other party isn't fully committed to. For example: You're tagged in a picture with someone of the opposite sex out on the town and the caption says "Me and my boo. I love me some him/her!" And folks are commenting "Awww...Y'all make a cute couple." (cause it seems like y'all are very coupled up) but then the tagged person status and inbox says "Oh no, I'm still VERY single". Someone needs to ask questions for the sake of clarity in this season coming off Christmas headed into Valentine's Day! (not saying it happened, just saying)
So to keep history from preventing itself I've proclaimed 2014: The YEAR OF DIRECT INQUIRY!!! I'm asking questions folks!!! It's up to the people I ask to be honest when I ask them, but I promise you I'm about to ask. I've even come up with a list of top 10 questions that I should've asked in the past but I think may work in 2014. (in no particular order)
1.Are you single AND available? Follow-up: You're not in a sketchy marriage, you don't live with your baby mama, I won't see you on Instagram kissing a woman at a party in a post from last Saturday???
2. Have you recently been arrested and for what? White collar, blue collar, misdemeanor, child support, sex offender, domestic violence, bad checks??? (Note: you can also ask this same question about loss of job)
3. Do you work a real job? As in you file taxes, you're not on mental disability, or stealing your parents/grandparents SSI.
4. (For employers) Have you ever had payroll checks bounce? Will I be shamed at the bank on payday? (Note: Question #2 might also need to be asked of a new boss or employer)
5. Before we go out, do you have money? Follow up: Do you have enough money for the date we're going on? Do you have more than 5 dollars in your pocket and/or bank account combined because I will not help you if you have to go to your car and get change out of the ashtray?
6. Do you have kids? If so how many? And how often do you see them? Is there anyone who could possibly be currently pregnant with your child?
7. Are you a Christian? Are you saved? Like for real saved or are you trying to make me one of the "Sister Wives" or part of a sex cult?
8. May I see a copy of your 3rd grade report card or school records? Follow up or in lieu of: Your 6th and 8th grade writing competency tests, CATs, SATs, ACTs and/or High School senior class project.
9.Tell me about your best friend? Follow up: Are you referring to an imaginary friend?
10. Are you crazy? (Note: if they adamantly say they are NOT crazy and get offended by this question, the answer is YES, they are crazy and trumps any of the other answers)
Now of course, always go with your instinct but this year my inquisitiveness will fuel my instinct. The Bible says the people will perish for a lack of knowledge and I'm not going down this year because I didn't ask!!! I'm asking folks and I'm asking the Lord for guidance cause another year like 2013... AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!
*starts singing The Winans *
Let's make it a good one y'all!
Nilly B!
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