Happy New Year! I fully realize it’s been a minute since I’ve posted a blog.
Despite having a birthday and the holiday season I have been uninspired to
write anything that supports the theme of this blog site. I mean don’t get me
wrong, shenanigans still follow me where ‘err I go (As I type this, I’m sitting
a few seats down from a man who just told this whole waiting room he killed a
man a few years back. Exactly!), but nothing thought provoking enough to write
about it. But this morning something dropped in my spirit and I’ve got to get
it off my chest. Now before you continue
reading let me say the subject matter is in no way intended to offend people.
I’m not looking down on anyone or how anyone was raised, but I think this may
help someone today.
Recently a guy I met told me I might be “too fancy” for him
and seemed “high maintenance”. I was taken aback by this statement and it
bothered me a little. I’ve been unemployed for over a year, so how can I be
high maintenance? Just because I haven’t worked in a while, does that mean I’m
supposed to have thrown away all of the nice things I had when I was working
and exchange them for sackcloth and ashes…CERTAINLY NOT! Even when I was
working, I was still a bargain beauty so I’m not understanding what gave him
this impression. Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve been told I’m a little
uppity. But there is a distinct difference between being uppity and wondering
“Why the heck are you living like this in this day and age?” Common sense, class, appropriateness, and
just wanting to do better have nothing to do with being stuck up or putting on
airs. Let me explain…
If I’m invited to a cookout (or barbecue depending on where
you’re from) I expect to find food cooked on a grill. You know… hot dogs,
hamburgers, maybe a rib, a hot link, etc. But if I get to your “cookout” and
you’re cooking on a George Foreman and
you serve me a wiener, then say “bread is over there” as you point to a bag of
Wonder white sliced bread, then I have every right to look at you crazy! I came
for a hot dog on a bun, not a weenie on white bread! (Note: if your preference
is actually white bread, heck, I even know folks who only want the weenie sans
the bread; I’m not judging you, just making a point)
Let me give you another example… I grew up in North Carolina,
home of tobacco and cigarettes, so if someone says to me “Oh do you mind if I
smoke…” that’s not a big deal to me, but when you begin to roll your own
special herbal cigarette without warning and I look at you like “What the
heck?!?” I’m not being a snob; I just want to know before I aid and abet in
illegal activity!!!
And here’s another one… I totally understand, everyone has
different taste in clothing and wardrobe, but don’t tell me to get dressed up
cause we’re going out somewhere special and I put on a cute dress, sparkly
jewelry, hot heels and you come out in a sweat suit ; am I overdressed or are
you underdressed? No matter where we go
one of us is gonna end up looking a fool!
Or we’re shopping in the grocery store and someone makes you
a deal to buy food stamps. I’m not knocking food stamps at all or the food
stamp hustle but if I’ve never been involved in such transactions how am I
supposed to respond except with shock and awe. That’s not being snotty, it’s
called confusion!
Here’s what it all comes down too… I grew up in a decent
sized city with both hardworking parents in a house with my siblings that was
filled with good times, moved to the rural county parts in my teens, spent my
summers in the deep country, went to a predominately white high school and
college so there are a lot of things I didn’t grow up around or wasn’t exposed
to. I don’t think I am better than anyone, but where I’m from we (me, my family
or my friends) didn’t do those types of things. It’s 2013; I can’t and won’t
apologize for this anymore. I will proudly wear this alleged “bourgeois” badge
with honor. If having couth, manners, training, etiquette, not wanting to
catch a case makes me uppity… and if truth shall be my companion in the fuh-lames... SO BE IT!
(You can never go wrong with a classic Cosby Show reference!).
I'm just trying to be like my girl Beyonce..."Let me upgrade you!"
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