Happy New Year! I fully realize it’s been a minute since I’ve posted a blog. Despite having a birthday and the holiday season I have been uninspired to write anything that supports the theme of this blog site. I mean don’t get me wrong, shenanigans still follow me where ‘err I go (As I type this, I’m sitting a few seats down from a man who just told this whole waiting room he killed a man a few years back. Exactly!), but nothing thought provoking enough to write about it. But this morning something dropped in my spirit and I’ve got to get it off my chest. Now before you continue reading let me say the subject matter is in no way intended to offend people. I’m not looking down on anyone or how anyone was raised, but I think this may help someone today.
Recently a guy I met told me I might be “too fancy” for him and seemed “high maintenance”. I was taken aback by this statement and it bothered me a little. I’ve been unemployed for over a year, so how can I be high maintenance? Just because I haven’t worked in a while, does that mean I’m supposed to have thrown away all of the nice things I had when I was working and exchange them for sackcloth and ashes…CERTAINLY NOT! Even when I was working, I was still a bargain beauty so I’m not understanding what gave him this impression. Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve been told I’m a little uppity. But there is a distinct difference between being uppity and wondering “Why the heck are you living like this in this day and age?” Common sense, class, appropriateness, and just wanting to do better have nothing to do with being stuck up or putting on airs. Let me explain…
If I’m invited to a cookout (or barbecue depending on where you’re from) I expect to find food cooked on a grill. You know… hot dogs, hamburgers, maybe a rib, a hot link, etc. But if I get to your “cookout” and you’re cooking on a George Foreman and you serve me a wiener, then say “bread is over there” as you point to a bag of Wonder white sliced bread, then I have every right to look at you crazy! I came for a hot dog on a bun, not a weenie on white bread! (Note: if your preference is actually white bread, heck, I even know folks who only want the weenie sans the bread; I’m not judging you, just making a point)
Let me give you another example… I grew up in North Carolina, home of tobacco and cigarettes, so if someone says to me “Oh do you mind if I smoke…” that’s not a big deal to me, but when you begin to roll your own special herbal cigarette without warning and I look at you like “What the heck?!?” I’m not being a snob; I just want to know before I aid and abet in illegal activity!!!
And here’s another one… I totally understand, everyone has different taste in clothing and wardrobe, but don’t tell me to get dressed up cause we’re going out somewhere special and I put on a cute dress, sparkly jewelry, hot heels and you come out in a sweat suit ; am I overdressed or are you underdressed? No matter where we go one of us is gonna end up looking a fool!
Or we’re shopping in the grocery store and someone makes you a deal to buy food stamps. I’m not knocking food stamps at all or the food stamp hustle but if I’ve never been involved in such transactions how am I supposed to respond except with shock and awe. That’s not being snotty, it’s called confusion!
Here’s what it all comes down too… I grew up in a decent sized city with both hardworking parents in a house with my siblings that was filled with good times, moved to the rural county parts in my teens, spent my summers in the deep country, went to a predominately white high school and college so there are a lot of things I didn’t grow up around or wasn’t exposed to. I don’t think I am better than anyone, but where I’m from we (me, my family or my friends) didn’t do those types of things. It’s 2013; I can’t and won’t apologize for this anymore. I will proudly wear this alleged “bourgeois” badge with honor. If having couth, manners, training, etiquette, not wanting to catch a case makes me uppity… and if truth shall be my companion in the fuh-lames... SO BE IT! (You can never go wrong with a classic Cosby Show reference!).
I'm just trying to be like my girl Beyonce..."Let me upgrade you!"