Make that change...

Hear my heart on this one. I'm concerned about what they're teaching kids in school nowadays. Or should I say, what they're not teaching. Whatever happened to the alliterative basics... reading, writing and 'rithmetic? Composed in those core subjects are the tools for everyday life, not rocket science. Read on and you'll find out what prompted this. The following just happened to me and is all true:

I rarely eat meals at McDonald's (notice I said meals, like burgers & fries, because those ice cream cones, McFlurries, and McCafe Smoothies are something special and I will stop for one of those if the craving has a hold on me.Anywhoooo!), but I decided to stop by tonight for the grand opening of the new one on the corner by my house. It's kind of a big deal because 15years ago there was nothing in our neighbor hood , but a pizza place (that may be a cover for the mob) and 2 gas stations on the other side of the bridge.
I order my food in the drive through; the total on the screen was 4.05 which was also confirmed by a a nice young lady who asked me to pull around. Seeing that this is the first day this store was opened I figured my extra pickles might throw them for a loop so I was prepared to be patient.
I get to the window and once again was told my total was 4.05. Here's where it gets confusing...
I gave the young lady ( who appeared to be late teenage, definitely high schooler) a twenty dollar bill and a nickel.
I wasn't paying attention really but when she started counting coin change I thought it was odd. Maybe she ran out of ones.
She then said "15 dollars and 95 cents is your change."
I responded "But I gave you a twenty and a nickel"
She concurred by saying "Yes ma'am. And your change is 15 dollars and 95 cents"
I explained to her again that I gave her correct change and she still insisted very nicely my change was 15 dollars and 95 cents.
Finally I said in my kindest, elementary school teacher-esque voice. "No, sweetie. If my total was 4.05 and I gave you 20.05 then you should give me back 16 dollars."
To which she replied "Oh... really?" (like she was under the tree with Sir Isaac Newton) "I'll have to get a key"
By the time she got the key from the manager to put the change back in the drawer and give me the correct change, my food was sitting at the next window,of course, with my fries getting cold. But I didn't care. The golden, hot, delicious potatoes crisp from the oil don't compare to the satisfaction of such a teachable moment.

I couldn't look down on that young lady without extending a hand to help her up. Each one teach one. If I can help somebody as I pass along the way ( or the drive thru) then my living will not be in vain.
Wait... did this just take a Black History Month turn too? MESSAGE!

10 things you DON'T want for Valentine's Day... Trust me!

The following was originally written and posted on Facebook a couple of years ago, but I figured I share it on my blog and I think it's worthy of a repost.  I should also note the couple I reference recently got married.There's hope! 

Enjoy!

 Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 3:08am

Today at work a coworker of mine who has recently started dating a guy said he asked her what she wanted to do for Valentine's Day. They've only been dating for a month or so and they both are kinda nervous about doing too much or not doing enough as far as celebrating goes. She thought about suggesting something from Victoria's Secret... ummmmkay. Well I gave my two cents by telling her it may be a little too soon for lingerie but a nice fragrant body splash/lotion set perhaps would be a little more subtle. (Not hatin', just sayin') I did, however, give the disclaimer that I may not be the best person to ask about what you want for Valentine's Day cause my track record with relationships and gifts is pretty bad, but based on past experiences I can certainly  tell you what you DON'T want on that day (or the days surrounding that day) and I laughed myself to tears, thus the inspiration for this blog. 

As a kid Valentine's Day was right up there with Christmas on my list of favorite holidays (ok, actually I love most holidays for one reason or another. Even Earth Day get's me a little misty eyed because of MJ's "Earth Song", but I digress...) I mean for a little girl who loves stuffed animals and all things pink and red and girly the decorations alone caused my eyes to twinkle. (I still stock up on half price pink items on the 15th) Dad always brought mom a box of long stem roses. Mom always made sure we each had our own bag of tasty red hot cinnamon hearts (because my brother would eat a whole bag by himself), and me and my sister got kissing bears of some sort. I always wore red and looked forward to giving cards and candy to my friends. Even though my first heartbreak ever happened on Valentine's day when my elementary school crush made it very clear in front of everyone "I LIKE YOU BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT...WE DON'T GO TOGETHER!!!"  while ripping the construction paper heart off my desk and leaving my real heart broken to pieces, that didn't stop this hopeless romantic from enjoying February 14th.  But little did I know he would set a trend for foolishness in February (and any other month of the year for that matter). Honestly none of these things seemed funny at the time, and there were times where tissue wasn't absorbent enough so I just walked around with a hand towel for the tears.  I'm just glad I'm at a point where I can look back and laugh at these moments with limited therapy, much prayer and I never caught a case :-) 

So in no particular order these are my top 10 list of things you definitely DON'T want for Valentine's day:

1. You don't want to see your boo at your job (or school) putting a gift on your desk (or your locker) from down the hall only to get closer and discover he left the gift on the desk (or in the locker) of the girl who's desk (or locker) is beside yours. Depth perception will fool you every time. 
2.  You also don't want to see the aforementioned boo carrying a big mylar heart balloon down the same hallway later on the day thinking it's a peace offering only for the balloon to go to someone totally different as well :-/
3.  You don't want another man to see a picture of the guy you're dating on a mantle at a mutual friend's house and someone ask "Oh you know him? He goes to my school" and the man says "Yeah, that's my ex" *blank stare* Note: This could possibly  lead to projectile vomiting as an immediate reaction.
4.  You don't want to get in an argument on the 13th because you made plans to go out of town with your single friends on V-day weekend. In a sad effort to make you feel guilty and win the argument he says "So you're leaving town... You don't know what I had planned and your gift is in the trunk of my car"  So you feel bad and rush out to get a card or something only to discover there was no gift in the trunk at all, there never was. It was just a lie to win the argument. Really though??? I could've been packing my suitcase fooling with you!
5. You don't want to spend Valentine's Day (morning or night) with someone only for their FB status to change the next morning to "In a Relationship With ___________" or "Married to_________" or "Engaged to_________"  but it's not with you. Ummmkay... late in the midnight hour Cupid turned things around for you didn't he sir??? 5 a.You also don't want for your Valentine to be tagged in any pictures on the 15th  or the month to follow that would confirm said status i.e. engagement pictures, wedding pictures, or pictures of them exchanging gifts.
6.  You don't want a card that was purchased while in the Walmart together, signed with the cashier's pen when he signed the receipt, and given to you on the way out the door. A nice cute text would've had a little more of the element of surprise.
7. You don't want to find out he wanted to come over your place and hangout for Valentine's Day (and every other day) because he was trying to get with your roommate or friend all along. Nothing funny to insert here... that's just messy! Touche!
8.  You don't want to go to Waffle House, and your date get the runs. You get home, he breaks the toilet (the actual bowl broke and shattered), cut's his butt very badly on the shattered porcelain and is bleeding profusely  so now the floor is covered in blood, boo-boo, and bits of glass. You end up having to do first aid on the very deep butt cut with gauze and tape. And sadly that wasn't the shame that cause us to go our separate ways. He was more embarrassed to tell me he still lived with his mama. 
9. You don't want to be sitting on the couch enjoying a lovely Valentine's evening boo'd up watching TV or a movie and Boris Kodjoe or L.L. Cool J or Idris Elba (or any other fine man) comes on the screen. As a woman you respond "MMMMMM MMMMMM" and the man you're with has a Freudian slip and says "Oh yeah... he fine now" in agreement and an awkward silence fills the room. Neither of you ever mention it again. 
10. You don't want him to say you're going out for dinner at a restaurant (where his friend is the manager indicating it's a hook up) only to pull up to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah... where a kid can be a kid!!! So let me get this straight... We're at Chuck E Cheese... on Valentine's Day... on a hook up... and  I didn't even get any free skee ball tokens???  WHAT'S UP WITH THAT??? (that's what sucked the most)

I don't want anyone to read this and feel sorry by any means (because some of them are rather sad), and I've had some awesome Valentine's Day's by myself and with friends (yeah, it's ok to hangout as friends on that day). I just want people to be careful what they ask for and think twice before you complain, cause it could be worse. Not all of these things actually happened on Valentine's day (although most did), but they did happen.  And because I'm friends with quite a few of my exes on Facebook, if you don't leave a  comment no one will know I'm talking about you before God brought you out :-)

My life... Your Laugh!!!

Nilly B! 

Missionary position... No thank you!

Ok with Valentine's Day coming up I wanted to share something that's on my heart. Some of you may or may not be able to relate to this but I've decided to be transparent. I know the title of this post is what made you click on this but calm down it's not what you think...
I've had my share of dating woes. (I'll repost the worst of the worst soon), and if you follow my adventures you know I took myself of the market. Recently I decided to give dating another try and well, let's just say my luck hasn't changed much. But it got me to thinking which was the inspiration for this post.
I want to talk about a very hot topic, especially in today's contemporary Af-Am churches amongst single women... Missionary Dating. For those of you who aren't familiar with this term it's when a believer/church person is dating someone who doesn't go to church or profess to be a believer. Now I'm woman enough to admit that prior to moving to Atlanta one of my rules was if I was going to be in a relationship they had to be a church guy. But once I moved to the big city I threw caution to the wind and that rule went out the window. I was in a new city and meeting new people, church or otherwise, was fun. I can say I met some nice guys and not so nice guys. Church had nothing to do with it. I'm not saying that guys who go to church are better than guys that don't at all. To be honest, church guys who have to pray about whether to go to a movie or get something to eat after church with a group of folks confuses me. At least a regular guy on the street sees what he likes and will simply ask you out. It's not that serious to me. If I'm seeing a guy who doesn't go to church I'm not worrying about him trying anything grown folks might want to do without my permission. That's called having standards. Both believers and unbelievers have those. One dinner with a guy who doesn't go to church isn't gonna send me to hell. But sir, don't offer to go to church trying to impress someone and you know you haven't been to church since Reagan was in office because that's where the problem comes in. You don't even know the basics anymore. Just because you watch on TV it's not the same.
Having a personal relationship with Christ is just that... personal. I can't judge you on that, only can go by what you say and do. But church, as a religious gathering, is a social and cultural thing. If going to church isn't something one of you isn't used to it's going to get awkward.If I've never gone fishing, I'm gonna asked what to do. I've never been to a shooting range, how does this gun work. Save me some shame!
I'm a church person. I grew up in church and have always been involved in church activities of some sort until I moved back to NC, (This season of rest is blessing me though. Just to be able to go to church and enjoy service... ahhh! but I digress) so when I go to service I enjoy it. I get involved  and I'm familiar with the culture of most churches. AME, Baptist, Pentecostal, Non-denominational charismatic worship centers, common cup Catholic mass... I've seen all kinds of church and I love anywhere the true and living God is being worshiped. What I don't enjoy is going with someone who is too shame to admit they don't quite know what to do when they get there so instead of asking what service is like I've got to spend my time baby sitting an adult in church.
All I'm saying is somethings don't change. They still take up offering; bring a 5 dollar bill. They still read scripture; have a bible (real or an app). They still sing congregational songs; be prepared to stand. It's 2013, turn off your phone! These are the basics. I could see you may be a little stunned if you're at a charismatic church and someone takes of running or speaking in tongues, and you may be a little uncomfortable turning to your neighbor every few seconds.
With that being said, I'm reimposing my rule and it's now on the top of my list of questions: Where do you go to church? When is the last time you've been? I don't have a problem Missionary Dating. I can win you to Christ, but I can't help you in an embarrassingly awkward social setting. Jesus will walk with you cause I'll be sitting several pews away... You're on your own dude.
And hear this...If you are a regular church going guy you best not invite me to church and not have a brunch outing planned afterwards. Praising God brings forth much hunger on a Sunday about 12:30-ish! Pay the tithe then get ready to tip a waitress!!!
Disclaimer: If you're already in my black book and you're not a church guy, we're cool. I still loves me a good, kind-hearted,rough-neck, street-smart, bible scholar. Don't judge me!