Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Tracks of my tears #selfie

I'm going to go ahead and say this upfront. This is a very spontaneous blog post that I just decided write while seeing another post on Facebook and I may even muster up the courage to give you a visual before I'm done... 
There is currently a link from tickld.com that I've seen several times on Facebook titled "20 Things Women Do That Men Probably Don't Know About" which is an accurately amusing list of things some of us have kept a secret for a while. (Who let this list get out??? What happened to Girl Code?) As I was reading and came across number 3 which states "Watched themselves cry in the mirror at least once during a heavy cry session"
I immediately started laughing because it reminded of something I did one time in an irrational fit of heartbreak. I'm sharing this with you because I know someone can relate and I'm glad I can look back on it and laugh. (or you'll think I'm totally nuts, but either way "My Life, Your laugh!!!)
I won't tell you how long ago this was but you will be able to figure out that it wasn't in my teen years from the context of this story, so here goes: (Ok seriously y'all I'm so tickled I can barely type!)
If you keep up with me via social media, my blog and certainly in real life, you'll know my love life (or lack there of) can't even be compared to a roller coaster of emotions; it's a whole amusement park!!! During one of the many break-ups of me and my on again/off again boyfriend of many years, I met a guy and we started hanging out. Nothing too serious. We would go to dinner, movies, if I had an event, he'd be my "plus one". Eventually, we started spending more time together because we ended up living in the same neighborhood and nobody wants to have pizza and go to the RedBox alone. There were no rules, we didn't "go together" and honestly, at the time I was actually interested in someone at my church. I thought there were we fine until...
I had recently been going through quite a bit at work, had a death in the family and... well it was just a lot going on. I got my hair done one Friday afternoon and felt like going out. It had been a few weeks and I decided to call my homeboy, but he didn't answer. I left a message and he responded with a text that said something like "Hey. I can't hangout tonight. I'm hanging out with my girlfriend." WHAAAAAAAAAAAA??? Did he just say "GIRLFRIEND??? I was done! We'd known each other for years and why didn't I know about this new chick??? Did I get played? I was confused (but mind you I had been going out with other folks too. Cue Jamie Foxx "Just Like Me") Well obviously in a fit of PMS hormone induced emotion, I immediately started crying uncontrollably. I called my best friend (who is a guy) all the way in NC and he was unmoved by yet another outburst (I used to be a slight drama queen.) And here's where the story relates to the list above on a whole new level...
I had also recently got an upgrade on my cellphone and was fascinated, dare I say slightly obsessed with taking what is now known as a "selfie". I don't know what came over me but as I was crying, I had my phone in my hand. I'm not sure if my initial intentions were to send him a text to let him know he broke my heart, maybe I was going to play some "woe is me" R&B tunes, but when I looked at the screen and saw my reflection I hit the camera button. And with tears running down my face and eyes swollen from crying I snapped, not one, but 3 pictures of myself!!! Wait for it... then I sent them to my bff so he would feel bad for not realizing how bad I was feeling. And then he called me back only to laugh in my face, which only made me more upset. I was a wreck and to this day I'm still not sure why I was so distraught!!! It was like something out of a very bad romantic comedy. 
Eventually I pulled myself together and the next day I wasn't quite over it, but I when I saw those pics on my phone I thought to myself "Really? Did you really do that?" To this day I can call my bff, mention those pictures and we laugh like we're on nitrous oxide!!! 
I know I'm not the only woman who has done something crazy like this, but I bet I'm the only one bold enough to share my pain so you could laugh!!! 
I'm still not bold enough to share the pics in public, but if you know me and you NEED a good laugh at my expense text me cause I still got 'em for the sake of posterity

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