You see, I'm a city-country girl. I wouldn't consider myself an animal lover, but I respect them in their natural habitat. Anywhere there is an abundance of trees chances are you will see these furry tailed creatures known as squirrels. I totally understand tree's are their thing. They climb trees, make burrows near trees, they eat the nuts of trees. I have never in my life taunted one of these cute creatures, but for some reason they seem to have it out for me.
When I was in college it seemed as though there were as many squirrels as there were students and they would let you know the brickyard really belonged to them. I can't tell you how many times I saw someone leave the Chik-Fil-A at lunch and get chased by a squirrel waiting for them to drop a fry crumb. I didn't give them a chance to chase me. Giving a fry to Chip and Dale wasn't gonna ruin my lunch. I even said a prayer of condolence when Hurricane Fran came through the campus and there were literally dead animals still clinging to acorns, with their fur soaked from rain that had been blown across the yard. I tried to be there friend.
But over the last few years it seems as though the tables have turned. One day me and a friend decided to grab some subs for lunch and enjoy them in the park. A squirrel comes by so I throw out some crumbs. It comes back. I didn't throw out any chips. It stood on it's hind legs and began to touch it's "nuts" as if to tell me to "jerk off!" Me and my friend looked at each other like "Did you see what I saw?" (You don't have to believe it. I have a witness and she will tell you that is the God in heaven truth. No exaggeration whatsoever!!!!) I was flashed by a rodent!!!
Then just last week when we had a preview of spring I'm sitting on the porch, reading on my kindle, enjoying an Arnold Palmer on crushed ice and I hear some rustling in the leaves. Ahhh, the sounds of spring. Only for me to look up and two squirrels start BARKING at me!!! WHAT THE HECK??? First of all I didn't know they made noise and I certainly wouldn't think that it should sound like a small dog bark. I look at them, they look at me, then they climb up the tree and start mating. I guess that was some sort of mating call and I was being intrusive. Granted, my house is surrounded by trees, but this house has been here for twenty years. I know this wasn't your turf first. I just know it. Take your rodent rendezvous to a forest, not my front yard. This is a family home for goodness sake.
I'm already afraid of deer (and rightfully so) but I will not allow these over sized mice with fluffy tails to run me out of my yard or the park bench!
If y'all hear me from a distance yelling "ALLLLVVVVVIIIINNNN!!!" just know they started it first!!!