Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Grandma Mattie and Magic Mike: My take on the nursing home stripper scandal

*deep breath and sigh*
Yep... that's what the news headline says. 
And when I first saw a blurb on my Facebook feed involving strippers and senior citizens I just chose to keep scrolling because, albeit a little awkward, if I've learned nothing else from years of religiously watching the antics of Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia on syndicated reruns of the "Golden Girls" I know there are still plenty of active old ladies who like to see a "beef cake" and get it on every now and then. I wasn't really bothered by the news and found it to be a cute novelty story, until I heard on the story on TV and why it was actually making headlines.
It's not uncommon for retirement communities or nursing homes to bring in different types of performers or people to facilitate group activities for the residents. Sometimes it's just someone who's visiting a relative and they decide to play a few tunes on the rec room piano (like on "The Nanny" when they went to visit Yetta), other times it's a church choir or singing group who want to spend sometime spreading good cheer. (I've been on a few nursing home visits with my aunts and grandma as a child) Maybe the staff booked an aspiring clown or magician; there are even beauticians who come in for the day. The staff is always looking for someone to headline the activity area. This particular home has a committee of concerned residents who vote to *in my Jerome from "Martin" voice* "give the people what they want". At the end of the day, it makes the folks feel loved in the golden years of their lives. 
And this is why I was so shocked by the crux of the story. The son of one of the patients is suing the nursing home for exposing his 85 year old mother who suffers from dementia to this form of entertainment and making her participate against her will. He found a picture in his mother's belongings of her placing dollar bills in the waist of a scantily clad, very tanned and oiled, muscular man. He's filed suit for the sum of (according to some reports) a whopping $10,000,000!!! REALLY SIR???  I can understand him being appalled by the choice of entertainment. Male dancers (or female dancers for that matter) aren't what you'd expect to see on the monthly activity calendar at "Shady Pines", but suing is just a ridiculous response. Express your concern to management, maybe get a few months free while you look for other accommodations for your mother, but to file suit seems a bit extreme.
But the story only gets better and this is where I'm about to go all the way in on this clown...

If you look closely at the picture of  "Mattie" (that's just the name I'm using cause it felt right) as she is stuffing this man's draws and making it rain, there is a lady sitting next to her looking on in amusement with a smile on her face. This woman is the girlfriend of the son.YEP... for lack of better term, she's "Mattie's" daughter-in-law!!! GET THE FRICK OUTTA HERE!!!!
You mean to tell me that at no time did the thought cross your mind as you were visiting "Mattie" that you should have pushed her wheelchair out of the room or covered her eyes or started praying or something!!! Not once could you find a way of escape. You just sitting back grinning like a Cheshire cat?!? I spend quite a bit of time with my 85yr old grandma and if something is a little "too hot" for tv I change the channel out of respect alone (not to mention no one wants to watch folks make out with an 85yr old baptist church mother!!!)  Her only defense was "I just couldn't believe it. But, it's not in my hands to say anything." BYE FELICIA!!! Nah... you just didn't do anything cause you had already placed your "love offering" in his waistband. AND you sat through it, but still didn't call your boo afterward to tell the story. No call or nothing to say "Bay, you not gonna believe what happened when I went to see Ma Mattie today!!!" otherwise he wouldn't have been mad when he found the picture.
So, bruh, let's talk about the real issue. It's not the nursing home's fault. The resident committee voted and several other communities have come forth as saying this isn't anything new. The residents didn't object, it was all in fun, the patients safety wasn't at risk and no other relative of a patient (to our knowledge) is complaining. Just like anything else that happens "Mattie" had a choice. Did you sue when your mom didn't eat all of her dinner because she didn't want carrots that day, or did you sue when they showed a Madea movie instead of an old black and white film? Did you get hot when ping-pong was voted in over a Bid-Whidst tournament? No, you didn't cause it was a matter of CHOICE! Even if she wasn't in the best state of mind that day, your girlfriend certainly had a chance to intervene, but she didn't because she enjoyed the daylight all male review and didn't even have to pay a cover charge!!! 
You probably hadn't visited your mom in months anyway and when you did you saw your chick in a picture with your mom and a stripper and now you're feeling some kinda way and now you're trying to find someone to blame and get paid because now you're shame...When it comes to your foolish attempts, allow me to quote the great words of Juvenille, sir, "Back that thang up!!!" (which is probably what "Mattie" and your girl was saying too!)
And to think, all of this could've been avoided had some of the women not been jealous because the male residents went on a field trip to Hooters... *shrugs* 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left!!!

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