Friday, May 30, 2014

The Amazing Wheelchair Race!

From the chronicles of Nilly and Ida B:
Now that my heart rate has returned to normal, I can tell the story.
Yesterday I was once again hustled by my grandma to take her shopping. Initially I was told she wanted to go to Walmart, but I knew she had more up her sleeve. Before we left the house, she tells me she wants me to take her to buy MORE flowers for her yard. I put emphasis on MORE because I have taken her to Lowe's and Walmart on my last two visits to get flowers, but there is a local plant farm she wanted to go to because they also have vegetable seedlings for her 2 vegetable gardens as well. Before we left the house, this 86yr old woman, with arthritic knees, who has no strength in her legs and uses a rolling walker tries to convince me not to bring her wheelchair on this shopping trip. Ummm, ma'am how do you expect to walk around to look at flowers??? She claims they have a "riding cart" that she can use to get around, but my I followed my first mind and loaded the wheelchair in the car anyway. So we head out to the plant farm...
I knew I was in for a time when this old lady decides to argue with my phone GPS and the signs along the route that are pointing towards this local business. Grandma is still very sharp for her age, but she does have her "senior moments". I follow the signs and GPS and end up at what appears to be a regular house with a very large back yard, but the sign says "LONG'S PLANT FARM" so I knew I was in the right place, whether she believed it or not. Like most local, rural, agriculture businesses, there was a dirt path to drive on and an extension of the path for handicapped parking. Just as I thought, I saw no signs of a "riding cart" at this establishment. I saw lots of plants, abandoned greenhouses, an appliance graveyard (a la Sanford & Son), rusted red wagons to carry the plants, but nothing motorized that grandma could ride which means I was going to have to push her through the actual sand in the yard located in the actual "Sand Hills" of eastern North Carolina. I was already over this outing, but grandma has been trying to get someone to bring her to this place and it was too late to turn back now.
I knew I couldn't push her around, grab the flowers she couldn't reach, put them in the wagon and pull the wagon all at the same time, but came up with a system. I would put the wagon in a central location in the nursery, grab the flowers, run them back and forth, then push her to the next section. Seems like a good plan, right? Well, I didn't factor in grandma's stubbornness and pride into my plan.
Picture it: The section we're browsing in is covered in black tarp on top of sand on uneven ground. I'm picking out gorgeous blooms and cayenne pepper plants as instructed, running them to my wagon in the center of a maze of flowers and greenery. Next thing I know I hear my grandma's signature high pitched voice saying "It feels like it's going by itself". Y'all, I look up and my grandma is sliding across the tarp, rolling down a hill towards the car, holding on the her pocketbook for dear life like Sophia from "Golden Girls". I couldn't even scream. I just gasp and took off running to catch this runaway wheelchair. All I could think was how am I going to explain to everyone how the matriarch of the family ended up injured from being tossed across this plant farm and covered in sand!!! JEEEEEESUSSSS!
After I catch her, just before she drifted into the driveway, grandma is laughing while I'm trying to swallow hard because it feels like my heart is in my throat. She's chuckling and telling me she was just trying to push herself so I wouldn't have to be worried with pushing her too. Really old lady??? Really??? Now is not the time to be "Ms. Independent"!
I gave up on my system and pushed her a few feet with one hand and pulled the wagon with the other. You can best believe I didn't step more that a yard from her without putting on the brakes!!! You will not have my cousins looking at me sideways because I literally let grandma get run over by a reindeer!

No comments:

Post a Comment