9 months of changes, and I wasn't even preggers!

Yikes... I knew it had been a while but 9 months is waaaay too long between post. I could've gotten married and had a baby and been a stepmom by now (all very realistic thoughts in retrospect) Why didn't someone ask me "What's going on?" Surely y'all didn't think the foolery that often surrounds me ceased... and trust me it didn't!!! As a matter of fact it went to a new level that I can't even totally tell you in a blog. It needs a book...

The past 9 months have been crazy!!! Let's see...
I've had 3 jobs.
I sold cars for 3 month and honestly the laughs were endless, but the hours were exhausting  I was too tired to do anything after those 14hr days, but trust me there are some stories in the archives that I will share.
One of those jobs moved me to Sanford, Florida for 5 weeks just in time for the Zimmerman/Martin civil unrest. A mannequin spray painted black in a neon hoodie was in the office, which the boss referred to as "Trayvon". Yes... you read that right. I knew it was gonna be a sketchy time.
I gained 20lbs in the short time I was in Florida. Food in a touristy area is delish!!!
I've dated 2 guys. Got VERY serious with the 2nd and discussed marriage/elopement while in Florida. 3 months after moving back to NC, the truth was revealed and let's just say "GOD BLOCK IT!!!" I'm can't be Dr. Phil.
In the course of my 7 month whirlwind romance, one of the highlights was my mailbox being ran over. (See previous statement and ask me later),
In a related story, I also discovered my ability to tutor remedial reading and writing in adults. :-/
Surprisingly, I've only been back to Atlanta once. This has made me very homesick for my second "home".
This summer I almost drowned at a water park in 3 feet of water cause my weave was very heavy when wet and weighed me down.
I'm an aunt again and the "kids" are my reason to keep going.
I've lost 14 of the 20lbs I gained in Florida.
I have gained a new skill of being able to tell the fragrance someone is wearing when they walk by.
With that being said, I'm still looking for full-time employment.
I haven't been to a movie in the last 6 months that didn't make me cry at some point. Even comedies and cartoons. (Yep, even Kevin Hart's "Let Me Explain" took me down in the last few minutes)
I had a birthday and as long as folks keep thinking I'm in my mid twenties, I'm gonna let them keep thinking it.
My grandma is still my boo!!!
I still have insomnia and I recently discovered you can get "addicted" to an herbal supplement.As a result, I had withdrawals from liquid melatonin that you get at Walmart.
I still experience the results of the "No Child Left Behind" generation at least once a week in stores. Like today when the cashier rang up my purchase and it showed $1 on the screen and she was going to do a price adjustment because it was supposed to be 50% off of $2. *smh*

Ok... this list is just the random thoughts that came to me once I realized I neglected my blog.  And looking at this list I can tell you what's most important is I'm still here by God's grace. Seriously, I almost let go! But even in my thinking of giving up, something crazy would happen and I'd decide to go on another day so I could tell someone about the craziness from the day before cause it would be so unbelievable.
This has been an interesting 9 months and I'm gonna try to do better with this blog.
Up, downs, smiles and frowns, even tears at times, but one thing's for sure... My life is STILL YOUR LAUGH!!!

Make that change...

Hear my heart on this one. I'm concerned about what they're teaching kids in school nowadays. Or should I say, what they're not teaching. Whatever happened to the alliterative basics... reading, writing and 'rithmetic? Composed in those core subjects are the tools for everyday life, not rocket science. Read on and you'll find out what prompted this. The following just happened to me and is all true:

I rarely eat meals at McDonald's (notice I said meals, like burgers & fries, because those ice cream cones, McFlurries, and McCafe Smoothies are something special and I will stop for one of those if the craving has a hold on me.Anywhoooo!), but I decided to stop by tonight for the grand opening of the new one on the corner by my house. It's kind of a big deal because 15years ago there was nothing in our neighbor hood , but a pizza place (that may be a cover for the mob) and 2 gas stations on the other side of the bridge.
I order my food in the drive through; the total on the screen was 4.05 which was also confirmed by a a nice young lady who asked me to pull around. Seeing that this is the first day this store was opened I figured my extra pickles might throw them for a loop so I was prepared to be patient.
I get to the window and once again was told my total was 4.05. Here's where it gets confusing...
I gave the young lady ( who appeared to be late teenage, definitely high schooler) a twenty dollar bill and a nickel.
I wasn't paying attention really but when she started counting coin change I thought it was odd. Maybe she ran out of ones.
She then said "15 dollars and 95 cents is your change."
I responded "But I gave you a twenty and a nickel"
She concurred by saying "Yes ma'am. And your change is 15 dollars and 95 cents"
I explained to her again that I gave her correct change and she still insisted very nicely my change was 15 dollars and 95 cents.
Finally I said in my kindest, elementary school teacher-esque voice. "No, sweetie. If my total was 4.05 and I gave you 20.05 then you should give me back 16 dollars."
To which she replied "Oh... really?" (like she was under the tree with Sir Isaac Newton) "I'll have to get a key"
By the time she got the key from the manager to put the change back in the drawer and give me the correct change, my food was sitting at the next window,of course, with my fries getting cold. But I didn't care. The golden, hot, delicious potatoes crisp from the oil don't compare to the satisfaction of such a teachable moment.

I couldn't look down on that young lady without extending a hand to help her up. Each one teach one. If I can help somebody as I pass along the way ( or the drive thru) then my living will not be in vain.
Wait... did this just take a Black History Month turn too? MESSAGE!

10 things you DON'T want for Valentine's Day... Trust me!

The following was originally written and posted on Facebook a couple of years ago, but I figured I share it on my blog and I think it's worthy of a repost.  I should also note the couple I reference recently got married.There's hope! 

Enjoy!

 Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 3:08am

Today at work a coworker of mine who has recently started dating a guy said he asked her what she wanted to do for Valentine's Day. They've only been dating for a month or so and they both are kinda nervous about doing too much or not doing enough as far as celebrating goes. She thought about suggesting something from Victoria's Secret... ummmmkay. Well I gave my two cents by telling her it may be a little too soon for lingerie but a nice fragrant body splash/lotion set perhaps would be a little more subtle. (Not hatin', just sayin') I did, however, give the disclaimer that I may not be the best person to ask about what you want for Valentine's Day cause my track record with relationships and gifts is pretty bad, but based on past experiences I can certainly  tell you what you DON'T want on that day (or the days surrounding that day) and I laughed myself to tears, thus the inspiration for this blog. 

As a kid Valentine's Day was right up there with Christmas on my list of favorite holidays (ok, actually I love most holidays for one reason or another. Even Earth Day get's me a little misty eyed because of MJ's "Earth Song", but I digress...) I mean for a little girl who loves stuffed animals and all things pink and red and girly the decorations alone caused my eyes to twinkle. (I still stock up on half price pink items on the 15th) Dad always brought mom a box of long stem roses. Mom always made sure we each had our own bag of tasty red hot cinnamon hearts (because my brother would eat a whole bag by himself), and me and my sister got kissing bears of some sort. I always wore red and looked forward to giving cards and candy to my friends. Even though my first heartbreak ever happened on Valentine's day when my elementary school crush made it very clear in front of everyone "I LIKE YOU BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT...WE DON'T GO TOGETHER!!!"  while ripping the construction paper heart off my desk and leaving my real heart broken to pieces, that didn't stop this hopeless romantic from enjoying February 14th.  But little did I know he would set a trend for foolishness in February (and any other month of the year for that matter). Honestly none of these things seemed funny at the time, and there were times where tissue wasn't absorbent enough so I just walked around with a hand towel for the tears.  I'm just glad I'm at a point where I can look back and laugh at these moments with limited therapy, much prayer and I never caught a case :-) 

So in no particular order these are my top 10 list of things you definitely DON'T want for Valentine's day:

1. You don't want to see your boo at your job (or school) putting a gift on your desk (or your locker) from down the hall only to get closer and discover he left the gift on the desk (or in the locker) of the girl who's desk (or locker) is beside yours. Depth perception will fool you every time. 
2.  You also don't want to see the aforementioned boo carrying a big mylar heart balloon down the same hallway later on the day thinking it's a peace offering only for the balloon to go to someone totally different as well :-/
3.  You don't want another man to see a picture of the guy you're dating on a mantle at a mutual friend's house and someone ask "Oh you know him? He goes to my school" and the man says "Yeah, that's my ex" *blank stare* Note: This could possibly  lead to projectile vomiting as an immediate reaction.
4.  You don't want to get in an argument on the 13th because you made plans to go out of town with your single friends on V-day weekend. In a sad effort to make you feel guilty and win the argument he says "So you're leaving town... You don't know what I had planned and your gift is in the trunk of my car"  So you feel bad and rush out to get a card or something only to discover there was no gift in the trunk at all, there never was. It was just a lie to win the argument. Really though??? I could've been packing my suitcase fooling with you!
5. You don't want to spend Valentine's Day (morning or night) with someone only for their FB status to change the next morning to "In a Relationship With ___________" or "Married to_________" or "Engaged to_________"  but it's not with you. Ummmkay... late in the midnight hour Cupid turned things around for you didn't he sir??? 5 a.You also don't want for your Valentine to be tagged in any pictures on the 15th  or the month to follow that would confirm said status i.e. engagement pictures, wedding pictures, or pictures of them exchanging gifts.
6.  You don't want a card that was purchased while in the Walmart together, signed with the cashier's pen when he signed the receipt, and given to you on the way out the door. A nice cute text would've had a little more of the element of surprise.
7. You don't want to find out he wanted to come over your place and hangout for Valentine's Day (and every other day) because he was trying to get with your roommate or friend all along. Nothing funny to insert here... that's just messy! Touche!
8.  You don't want to go to Waffle House, and your date get the runs. You get home, he breaks the toilet (the actual bowl broke and shattered), cut's his butt very badly on the shattered porcelain and is bleeding profusely  so now the floor is covered in blood, boo-boo, and bits of glass. You end up having to do first aid on the very deep butt cut with gauze and tape. And sadly that wasn't the shame that cause us to go our separate ways. He was more embarrassed to tell me he still lived with his mama. 
9. You don't want to be sitting on the couch enjoying a lovely Valentine's evening boo'd up watching TV or a movie and Boris Kodjoe or L.L. Cool J or Idris Elba (or any other fine man) comes on the screen. As a woman you respond "MMMMMM MMMMMM" and the man you're with has a Freudian slip and says "Oh yeah... he fine now" in agreement and an awkward silence fills the room. Neither of you ever mention it again. 
10. You don't want him to say you're going out for dinner at a restaurant (where his friend is the manager indicating it's a hook up) only to pull up to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah... where a kid can be a kid!!! So let me get this straight... We're at Chuck E Cheese... on Valentine's Day... on a hook up... and  I didn't even get any free skee ball tokens???  WHAT'S UP WITH THAT??? (that's what sucked the most)

I don't want anyone to read this and feel sorry by any means (because some of them are rather sad), and I've had some awesome Valentine's Day's by myself and with friends (yeah, it's ok to hangout as friends on that day). I just want people to be careful what they ask for and think twice before you complain, cause it could be worse. Not all of these things actually happened on Valentine's day (although most did), but they did happen.  And because I'm friends with quite a few of my exes on Facebook, if you don't leave a  comment no one will know I'm talking about you before God brought you out :-)

My life... Your Laugh!!!

Nilly B! 

Missionary position... No thank you!

Ok with Valentine's Day coming up I wanted to share something that's on my heart. Some of you may or may not be able to relate to this but I've decided to be transparent. I know the title of this post is what made you click on this but calm down it's not what you think...
I've had my share of dating woes. (I'll repost the worst of the worst soon), and if you follow my adventures you know I took myself of the market. Recently I decided to give dating another try and well, let's just say my luck hasn't changed much. But it got me to thinking which was the inspiration for this post.
I want to talk about a very hot topic, especially in today's contemporary Af-Am churches amongst single women... Missionary Dating. For those of you who aren't familiar with this term it's when a believer/church person is dating someone who doesn't go to church or profess to be a believer. Now I'm woman enough to admit that prior to moving to Atlanta one of my rules was if I was going to be in a relationship they had to be a church guy. But once I moved to the big city I threw caution to the wind and that rule went out the window. I was in a new city and meeting new people, church or otherwise, was fun. I can say I met some nice guys and not so nice guys. Church had nothing to do with it. I'm not saying that guys who go to church are better than guys that don't at all. To be honest, church guys who have to pray about whether to go to a movie or get something to eat after church with a group of folks confuses me. At least a regular guy on the street sees what he likes and will simply ask you out. It's not that serious to me. If I'm seeing a guy who doesn't go to church I'm not worrying about him trying anything grown folks might want to do without my permission. That's called having standards. Both believers and unbelievers have those. One dinner with a guy who doesn't go to church isn't gonna send me to hell. But sir, don't offer to go to church trying to impress someone and you know you haven't been to church since Reagan was in office because that's where the problem comes in. You don't even know the basics anymore. Just because you watch on TV it's not the same.
Having a personal relationship with Christ is just that... personal. I can't judge you on that, only can go by what you say and do. But church, as a religious gathering, is a social and cultural thing. If going to church isn't something one of you isn't used to it's going to get awkward.If I've never gone fishing, I'm gonna asked what to do. I've never been to a shooting range, how does this gun work. Save me some shame!
I'm a church person. I grew up in church and have always been involved in church activities of some sort until I moved back to NC, (This season of rest is blessing me though. Just to be able to go to church and enjoy service... ahhh! but I digress) so when I go to service I enjoy it. I get involved  and I'm familiar with the culture of most churches. AME, Baptist, Pentecostal, Non-denominational charismatic worship centers, common cup Catholic mass... I've seen all kinds of church and I love anywhere the true and living God is being worshiped. What I don't enjoy is going with someone who is too shame to admit they don't quite know what to do when they get there so instead of asking what service is like I've got to spend my time baby sitting an adult in church.
All I'm saying is somethings don't change. They still take up offering; bring a 5 dollar bill. They still read scripture; have a bible (real or an app). They still sing congregational songs; be prepared to stand. It's 2013, turn off your phone! These are the basics. I could see you may be a little stunned if you're at a charismatic church and someone takes of running or speaking in tongues, and you may be a little uncomfortable turning to your neighbor every few seconds.
With that being said, I'm reimposing my rule and it's now on the top of my list of questions: Where do you go to church? When is the last time you've been? I don't have a problem Missionary Dating. I can win you to Christ, but I can't help you in an embarrassingly awkward social setting. Jesus will walk with you cause I'll be sitting several pews away... You're on your own dude.
And hear this...If you are a regular church going guy you best not invite me to church and not have a brunch outing planned afterwards. Praising God brings forth much hunger on a Sunday about 12:30-ish! Pay the tithe then get ready to tip a waitress!!!
Disclaimer: If you're already in my black book and you're not a church guy, we're cool. I still loves me a good, kind-hearted,rough-neck, street-smart, bible scholar. Don't judge me!

Fresh catch of the day: CATFISH!!!

*takes a deep breath and exhales*
Ok...I think I'm at a point where I can finally wrap my head around this topic to comment on it without typing cuss words out of sheer disbelief and frustration. This topic has been in the media quite a bit lately with the emergence of the MTV show, the sad, pitiful story of Notre Dame football player Manti T'eo, and as I type this I'm watching a Dr. Phil show on the very subject. Internet schemers, "Catfish", online hoaxers... I have but one question for these poor, desperate, gullible souls "WHAT THE &%#* WERE YOU THINKING? (I had to resort to cartoon cussing tho)
Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with making friends via social media. I'm woman enough to admit I met a few men back in my late college days and when I first moved to Atlanta on Black Planet, Yahoo, and the likes. But that was back in the day when online profiling was new and technology wasn't what it was today. Most people didn't have digital cameras, so in order to post a pic chances are you had to scan an actual picture in the computer lab, save that scan to a square disc and take it to another compute to upload it which took quite a bit of effort. If someone didn't have a picture up yet, they either went to a school that didn't have the technology or they weren't that attractive. (Honestly there were some folks we wished didn't scan in a picture, but those are the ones who always had tons of pics. Mud ducks!)
But back to my point... Fast forward to present day. For as long as I can remember since having an email address for the last 15 plus years we have been getting these chain emails about Nigerian scammers, and yet people are still falling for them. I consider myself a pretty trusting person but I'm also not stupid, which seems to be the only word I can use to describe the people that find themselves wrapped up in these predicaments.  Even when I meet someone in person I'm asking all sorts of questions, and doing my due diligence before I go out on a first date. Where are you from? What school did you go to? Where do you go to church? What do you do? Who your people? Oh you're around my cousin's age and they went to school with somebody who went to that high school... Oh I'm playing Six degrees of Separation to put the pieces together. So it baffles me how you can fall for someone sight unseen to point you're lauding your exclusive relationship status and you're sending them money. There is absolutely no reason you should be in a relationship with someone you've met online never met someway, somehow. Cell phones have cameras, computers have Skype, OoVoo, you can Google most people and something will come up. I don't think I would be involved in this kind of foolishness but if I did, I would be asking for a cell phone picture every day and random times and looking for details. Why are you always dressed to the nines, I need a timed stamped pic of you in a wife beater so I know it's you dude! Gents, ask her to send you a time stamped pic of her in a velcro head wrap so you know she's legit. Skype me in your workout clothes or PJ's so I know it's real. Dudes you need to know the voice on the phone saying she's in bed with rollers is the same person you're gonna see on that screen. I've never heard of a girl lowering her voice to get another girl, but I can't even start on these guys creating effeminiate voices to trick dudes.That's provoking wrath and you're trying to catch a beat down. Catfish ain't documenting the whole story cause I need to see more beat downs!!! Even in this day and age distance shouldn't be a concern. If you can send a person hundreds or thousands dollars over 2 plus years, surely you can benefit from the Priceline Negotiator to get a plane ticket and/or a hotel.
This lady on Dr. Phil had given her internet lover (which turned out to be a Nigerian scam) $30,000 over 7 months. This clown was writing her emails laced with broken english and confusing responses (because he didn't understand her part of the conversation), yet you wired him a total of $30,000. How crazy does this make you look??? You can't even blame that on the flesh because you've never even seen this person in the flesh!!! You can't even say you were "whipped" and blinded by the booty!!! Lord help her if she ever experienced him in all his "Africanness", then I might be able to cut her a little slack. (yep, I went there cause you did too...GOODBYE!) $30,000 in this economy...that's more than a lot of folks make in a year. Perhaps the US government should make a few dummy profiles and find some of these desperate folks who have nothing better to do than send money to internet lovers. I just gave Congress the answer to the teetering "fiscal cliff". You're welcome America!

Dating with children: Child bye!!!

So I was looking through my old post and realized it's been a year since I wrote the now infamous post "Off the Market: A voluntary recall" about my personal decision to take a break from dating and looking for love. And just about the time I decided to lift the restriction, I've had another reality check which has fueled my fears for meeting new people...KIDS!
Now once again I must ad this disclaimer before you continue to read. This in no way reflects my thoughts on single parents and folks who are taking care of their kids. I'm just expressing my concerns based on some things I've observed.
Don't get me wrong, I love children. My nieces, nephew, little cousins and godchildren bring me much joy. I long for the day I become a wife and mother (AND IN THAT ORDER!). Shoot I'm a big kid at heart and in the Bible even Jesus loved the kids. I'm at the age where the reality is there are a great number of us (both men and women) who have kids, so I could meet a nice guy and be a step mom in the blink of an eye. I'm ok with that. But here's what I'm not ok with... using the kid as an excuse to be a lame date.
I've seen it time and time again from both men and women. Now of course I'm not a parent so I can't say I fully understand this plight, but I do know quite a few people who have found a good balance between making time for a new relationships, social activities and being a great parent. Even the Brady Bunch made the best of a blended family back in the day on TV with a maid (ok, fictitious example, but you get the point)
I'm gonna be honest... I have thought maybe I'm a little selfish in my mindset, but then I thought about it again and not so much.With my track record I've had boyfriends who didn't have kids and didn't have any excuse, they were trifling, so no big deal to me, but when you start using the kids as a pawn that ain't right.  I think I'm more than understanding when you tell me you have a PTA meeting so you have to cancel our date at the last minute, or you spent most of your money cause "baby need a pair of shoes" (that will always be a classic gospel laugh!) so we can't go out, hey, that's cool. But if your kid lives with their mom and you're complaining about child support, but have to take groceries over there every day something is sketchy, bro.
And guys aren't the only ones... ladies can't find a sitter so they can't go out. Wait... your kid is 16 tho! And you had no problem leaving that grown kid at home when you had to go to your homegirl's house to get that weave tightened up for club night. (Oh I went there!) Or if he don't have enough to take you and your kids out that's a deal breaker. Girl stop!!! It's the 2nd date... AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!
I guess what I'm saying is if you're not ready to be in a relationship don't use parenting as a reason to be a bad girlfriend or boyfriend. Take yourself off the market til you can pull it together. You make it bad for the people who really are looking for someone to grow with and can handle dating with children like a mature adult. So brotha's with kids, and no baby mama drama are encouraged to apply. I welcome you... Eventually me, you and your kid can go to Chuck E Cheese and I will take you both down in Skee-Ball and get tons of tickets and you'll only have enough to get a slap bracelet. (Wait...did I just talk trash about an arcade game to a non-existent boyfriend and a little kid? YEP!)

Uppity Negro... Who me? Couldn't be!

Happy New Year! I fully realize it’s been a minute since I’ve posted a blog. Despite having a birthday and the holiday season I have been uninspired to write anything that supports the theme of this blog site. I mean don’t get me wrong, shenanigans still follow me where ‘err I go (As I type this, I’m sitting a few seats down from a man who just told this whole waiting room he killed a man a few years back. Exactly!), but nothing thought provoking enough to write about it. But this morning something dropped in my spirit and I’ve got to get it off my chest.  Now before you continue reading let me say the subject matter is in no way intended to offend people. I’m not looking down on anyone or how anyone was raised, but I think this may help someone today.

Recently a guy I met told me I might be “too fancy” for him and seemed “high maintenance”. I was taken aback by this statement and it bothered me a little. I’ve been unemployed for over a year, so how can I be high maintenance? Just because I haven’t worked in a while, does that mean I’m supposed to have thrown away all of the nice things I had when I was working and exchange them for sackcloth and ashes…CERTAINLY NOT! Even when I was working, I was still a bargain beauty so I’m not understanding what gave him this impression. Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve been told I’m a little uppity. But there is a distinct difference between being uppity and wondering “Why the heck are you living like this in this day and age?”  Common sense, class, appropriateness, and just wanting to do better have nothing to do with being stuck up or putting on airs. Let me explain…

If I’m invited to a cookout (or barbecue depending on where you’re from) I expect to find food cooked on a grill. You know… hot dogs, hamburgers, maybe a rib, a hot link, etc. But if I get to your “cookout” and you’re cooking on a George Foreman  and you serve me a wiener, then say “bread is over there” as you point to a bag of Wonder white sliced bread, then I have every right to look at you crazy! I came for a hot dog on a bun, not a weenie on white bread! (Note: if your preference is actually white bread, heck, I even know folks who only want the weenie sans the bread; I’m not judging you, just making a point)

Let me give you another example… I grew up in North Carolina, home of tobacco and cigarettes, so if someone says to me “Oh do you mind if I smoke…” that’s not a big deal to me, but when you begin to roll your own special herbal cigarette without warning and I look at you like “What the heck?!?” I’m not being a snob; I just want to know before I aid and abet in illegal activity!!!

And here’s another one… I totally understand, everyone has different taste in clothing and wardrobe, but don’t tell me to get dressed up cause we’re going out somewhere special and I put on a cute dress, sparkly jewelry, hot heels and you come out in a sweat suit ; am I overdressed or are you underdressed?  No matter where we go one of us is gonna end up looking a fool!

Or we’re shopping in the grocery store and someone makes you a deal to buy food stamps. I’m not knocking food stamps at all or the food stamp hustle but if I’ve never been involved in such transactions how am I supposed to respond except with shock and awe. That’s not being snotty, it’s called confusion!

Here’s what it all comes down too… I grew up in a decent sized city with both hardworking parents in a house with my siblings that was filled with good times, moved to the rural county parts in my teens, spent my summers in the deep country, went to a predominately white high school and college so there are a lot of things I didn’t grow up around or wasn’t exposed to. I don’t think I am better than anyone, but where I’m from we (me, my family or my friends) didn’t do those types of things. It’s 2013; I can’t and won’t apologize for this anymore. I will proudly wear this alleged “bourgeois” badge with honor. If having couth, manners, training, etiquette, not wanting to catch a case makes me uppity… and if truth shall be my companion in the fuh-lames... SO BE IT! (You can never go wrong with a classic Cosby Show reference!).

I'm just trying to be like my girl Beyonce..."Let me upgrade you!"